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This week in Councellors corner we will focus on unearthing your child's strengths, when we think of our child’s strengths we often think of their physical strengths. However, as Professor Lea Waters (PhD), best - selling author of “The Strength Switch”, points out, once you are aware of the language of strengths and the framework for seeing them, you’ll see character strengths easily in your child. In fact, you may find your child calls on their character strengths more often than on their talent to meet life’s challenges. 

It turns out that three elements come together to form a strength.

For purposes of strength-based parenting, we need to keep our eye on all three:

1. Performance (being good at something).
Watch for when your child shows above-age levels of achievement, rapid learning, and a repeated pattern of success. This relates to S in our Shine 2019 – strive to be successful

2. Energy (feeling good doing it)
Strengths are self-reinforcing. The more we use them, the more we get from them. They fill us with vigour. You’ll notice your child has abundant energy when using a strength. – building a growth mindset and learning from mistakes.

3. High use (choosing to do it)
Finally, look for what your child chooses to do in their spare time, how often they engage in a particular activity, and how they speak about that activity – being brave and pushing out of their comfort zone.

For true strengths, these three elements form a beautiful feedback loop: great performance provides the child with a shot of high energy, so the child naturally chooses to do more. In turn, high use – also known as effort or practice – improves performance levels

Keeping this triad in mind will help you avoid pushing your child into an area that seems like a strength just because your child is good at it. It will also help you differentiate between whether your child is bingeing on an activity in an escapist way or expressing a true strength.

Look for all three signs. When you see your child do something well, with energy, and repeatedly, you’ll know you’ve unearthed a strength and they will Shine.

Josie Ashby | Wellbeing Counsellor 

Mairead Mackle | Student Counsellor

Laura Herbert | Student Counsellor

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